Updated: Aug 20, 2021
I see this every single day, and it breaks my heart. Now let me say the group I am in has ADHD women in them, so I can't speak for men, but there is something I see in every group any time I check on them.
Too many of these women focus on what they can't do. I'll argue later in this post that what they think they can't do isn't even true, but for now, let's focus. How does it benefit anyone to focus on what they think they can't do?
I'm going to get a little mama bear in this one. I am not trying to be insensitive to those that are struggling. I see you, I hear you, I've been you, I love you. Your struggles are real, but they are also partly self-induced.
If you have been with me long enough that you understand your thoughts create your results, and you spend your time thinking you can't clean, can't get organized, can't think, can't hold a job...the list goes on. When you think those things, those are the results you get.
Let me tell you a story. Right when I got started with coaching certification, they sent me these huge books. One was a textbook and one was full of worksheets. Heavy, slam on the table from the weight of it type books.
My first thought was...I don't retain information. I'll never be able to learn what I need to learn from this book. I brought that to my coaching group and my coach was not having it. "Why would you choose to think you can't retain information?"
I was confused. Why would I choose to think it? I don't choose to think it. It's just a fact. I don't retain information. So she coached me on it, and she was so right. When I thought I didn't retain information, I in fact retained less information.
When I would go to read the book before the coaching I would be so in my head worrying about what I would remember and what I wouldn't, I actually retained less information. When I took on the thought. I will retain all the information I need. I had no problem retaining the information.
We speak our results, so be careful what you speak. And my friends, let's not focus on what we can't do. There is so much you can do and by making that your focus your world will open in all kinds of ways.
Maybe you will even figure out those things you currently think you can't do. When my kids used to say I can't, I would correct them and say, you just haven't figured it out yet. They took this on, and it helps them to not stop at can't, but move forward and past it to can.