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Welcome to a heartwarming episode where we dive into the journey of embracing ADHD with grace, persistence, and innovation. Joining us is Paula, a dedicated mom from South Florida, who shares her story of navigating life, work, and motherhood with ADHD.
Whether you're juggling a day job, side projects, or raising neurodivergent children, this episode is packed with relatable experiences and valuable insights.
What you'll learn:
Strategies for thriving in an ADHD-dominant household and managing daily challenges.
How to harness the power of ADHD for creative problem-solving and maintaining calm in emergencies.
The importance of ADHD-friendly tools and resources to simplify life and enhance productivity.
Tips for gradually moving towards your passion, even if it's outside your current career path.
The role of coaching in transforming struggles into strengths and fostering self-acceptance.
"I've learned to accept myself more, make fewer judgments, and embrace the quirks of ADHD as strengths. This acceptance has opened up new paths for me, professionally and personally." - Paula Poblete
Useful Links Mentioned:
Connect with Paula on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdmompreneur/
Schedule a Consultation with Mande https://linktr.ee/learntothrivewithadhd
Free Resources https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/free-downloads
The ADHD Academy https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/membership
Whether you're an adult with ADHD, a parent managing a neurodivergent household, or someone passionate about education, this episode offers a wealth of encouragement and practical advice. Subscribe for more inspiring stories and strategies to navigate life with ADHD.
Engage with us in the comments or on our social media channels. We'd love to hear your experiences and how you're implementing the tips shared in this episode!
Remember: ADHD comes with its set of challenges, but with the right mindset and tools, it can also unlock unparalleled creativity, resilience, and adaptability. Let Paula's story inspire you to embrace your unique journey.
Listen to the Episode:
Click here to read the transcript:
All right. Welcome back, guys. Today, we have one of my clients. We. We work together for a while, and it's so much fun. And actually, we chat a lot now, and Paul is actually back working with me. We have a session this week, so that's going to be so much fun.
But, Paula, can you introduce yourself? So so my name is Paula and I live in South Florida with my son and our two cats and I actually have a job and they have a day job. And I have also my side projects, of course. So I know I have ADHD. My son is Neurodivergent as well. So these animals have urgent household for sure that on the side that I know that I need more time.
I've done amazing. I'm building that for myself and for my family one way or the other within my ADHD world, right? Yeah. Yeah. And Paula's, we were reviewing Paula's notes from the consultation call that she had with me. When was that? I don't even know when that was. I should have looked at the date, but yeah, so the first consultation call and what she presented with and in there, something that struck me was you had said, I have a passion for education.
And so that says a lot about who you are. And also something that says a lot about who you are is you were talking in that consultation about how you didn't like your current and that not not your current job. I'm sorry you didn't like the job that you were in at that time, the field that you were in.
But you're like, I'm always going to do my best and yes, exactly. Like, like I mentioned also in there, I don't like cooking, but I'm a very good cook because the fact that I like and I still put the far right to be in my very best. So yes, my career, fortunately or unfortunately, never went into education. So it's time to to connect with that, since that's not the career data that I wanted.
Yeah, yeah. And the reason I bring those things up is because what you're doing there that I always tell my clients, we need to learn to do is you're dealing with the discomfort of not liking it, but you're doing it this way and this is you. We can take that into like every area because a lot of times we have to do things we don't want to do, especially when we have ADHD, right?
And if it's boring or uninteresting, you make it possible to do it anyway. But what brought you? Did we already say that? What brought you to seek out ADHD coach? You know, so I don't coaching in the past because I believe that when I start I just need help. I don't need to continue struggling on my own, but I don't do that.
Before I knew I had ADHD and I work with coaches and the feedback or the recommendations they gave me just didn't ever work for me and it left me feeling that I was constantly failing and I was not doing the things right because the progress was not there. You know, use a calendar is a reminder and then your world is going to come.
You know, I when I get organized. But that was not happening. These things are true, but it's not as simple as that for us to be applying at this totally different way. We totally different methods. Yeah. Those things are true. But in the way says so simple, this is a calendar and that's it, right? But it's more than that.
00:02:40:16 - 00:02:57:20
Unknown
But I didn't know that when I was on the coaching before I knew, but then I knew. Okay, my brain was different. I need someone who is in the same wavelength as me, so I need an ADHD coach to help me with my business. That is also a person who has ADHD because otherwise even it can be the best ADHD coach in the world.
00:02:57:20 - 00:03:15:05
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But they're not living it. The point of reference. They're when I fail, whenever you have those, there's a few ADHD coaches that don't have ADHD, and I just think that's crazy. Like go do something else. If I tell you I'm tired. Isn't ADHD to hear that you understand? If I tell you I'm confused, Is this a word say?
People say confused. But if I tell you I feel confused right now, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, right. Or if I say I forgot to eat again or anything that I say, you're not going to gasp and say, What's going on. I know that we do the exact same, right? So that what's so important for me to seek out a coach and ADHD gold and it wasn't ADHD goes to help me start a business Yes which I was telling Paula on Marco Polo, I actually found out this week that I had somebody evaluate my my website and the page where you land for the membership, which honestly are terrible at the moment of
this recording. And I mentioned it to Paula and she's like, I didn't even care about your website, but I, I had that evaluated. And he said, I don't understand who you work with. And he started listing them off like, is it parents? Is it the elderly? Is it you listed all these different things? And I was like, No, no, no, no.
And I looked back at my clients like Paula and like, you know, everybody that I've worked with in the past and everybody that I'm currently working with. And I was like, Oh, I work with professionals and entrepreneurs, and they're either like Paula, a professional, looking to be an entrepreneur, or they're if they're students, they're moving into the professional world soon, right?
And so I was like, Oh, that's so interesting. And Paula's like, Yeah, of course. Wouldn't you say? That's what I like people. People know my friends, right? They know that I like having a go. And I always go, Oh, she's my business coach. I never call you just an ADHD coach. You told me that I was like, Well, in why'd you do
It is what I do. I just didn't know. And so when I guess I attract that kind of person because I am that person, right? I was my husband and I was doing this. This like rebranding, like this is kind of a behind the scenes, but I'm coming to do this rebranding and I just let, like, can pick my business colors for me.
I did not choose those on purpose. And I and, and so I'm, you know, changing the colors. But they wanted me to like, describe myself. And I'm my husband was just sitting over here and I'm like, how do I describe myself? And he's like, ambitious. That was the first word he used. And I'm like, Oh, that's why I attract those kind of people, you know?
And I'm like, I don't know if I want to use that, what? But that's neither here nor there. But so what were your aha moments when we were working together? There was a few I would what I, what I know is that I will come to you with this little mess of a brain. Right. And then you will help me reframe a lot And I also a lot of aha moments of not making myself wrong.
And I know you remember it is when I was struggling to move from my apartment. Mm hmm. Anybody in my circle was saying, you got to buy a house. And I did so many things and I was talking to you and I was showing you the numbers or something like that. And just self simply said, Oh, you're a renter, you like to rent.
And I was taken aback, mainly because I am not used or I wasn't used to accepting myself. I'm used to justifying because having ADHD, you have to when you don't know it, you have to justify so much what you do and what you don't do. Then why don't you put the keys in the same place all the time, right?
That is justified. Well, because of this said that. So if I'm not renting, which is going against the grain, so if I'm not buying, then I have to explain myself. So when I tell them it's I don't have to explain myself so much. I am I am an adult. I do the things that I do. Right. So that was I remember that.
I said that and I was taken aback physically. And my said, I just looking at what I don't have to tell you the numbers and my expert analysis that I didn't exactly demonstrate that in my case I could I be broke with you mean? Yeah. And I think what happened there in that moment is like I have no agenda for you.
But you do. And so you were feeling like like you said, like you had to justify all these things. And I was just seeing it so clearly. I'm like, Yeah, you like direct courses. It's a similar one. Maybe it's minor for me, but a similar one is that, yes, I like to change my planner three months. I don't use the plan for the whole year.
It's just 3 to 3 months and then I need a brand new one on. I go to digital or go to paper and that's what I do. Yeah. And it's not just with planners, with clients. It's also like with tools like. Like this. Doing it this way might work for a little while and then we have to switch to a different tool and people make that a problem and it's flaky and you're like, you're not consistent, you're not solid.
And it's just that the novelty. Besides, when I change my planner, it forces me to reorganize my things because I'm moving them right and I move them. Then gleaned based on your moment. And it's a that is a beautiful thing. Yeah, I was just going to say it's a beautiful thing because you are you're like every quarter you're revising everything.
And that is how I kind of get off for novelties is a difficult thing, you know? Oh yeah, we need novelty. So those of you watching that don't know this like you have ADHD, your brain needs novelty. So when things get boring, don't make it a problem, just make it fun again. And that, like Paul said, I think medium high moments with you was like, Why am I making it a problem?
Oh yeah. And, and being careful not to beat yourself up for making it a problem too. Yes. Yeah, that's kind of a circular thing. Like don't make it a problem that you're making it a problem. The problem you just discovered that you were doing it, that making it a problem that doesn't stop. Exactly. And I think my work with clients about figuring out what they could do when they were tired started with you.
I think I learn from my clients all the time, and I haven't shared this with you, but I have created a tool that that I use with clients where it's like, okay, make a list of what you can do when you've had a bad night's sleep because you were dealing. When we were working together, I just reviewed your notes from the very first consultation and you were dealing with insomnia, and so there was lots of times that we were having to kind of figure out, okay, what can you do in this space when you're tired?
I was just doing this for myself yesterday. Daylight savings is brewed. Do you guys observe it? Yes, unfortunately it did. So I'm working on my 12 year and one of my 12 week year tasks is to get in bed by 9:00 9:30. I chose to ignore that the day before Daylight Savings time. And then, like Paula, I get up the same time every day because it helps with my sleep.
I've had extremes sleep issues in the past, insomnia to the point like you land and they say not to do this. But what I would do is lie in bed from, you know, the time I went to bed till the sun came up. Some days I had been there, done that. I have the T-shirt and yes, the T-shirt and the mug.
I love that. So I've done a lot to really help with that. But I've had to develop this tool because my clients are having different issues. You know, maybe they're having sleep issues or maybe there's something hormonally going on or maybe there's they're not choosing to go to bed like I did. And I had to use this yesterday, like, what can I do in this space of being exhausted?
And I have to make a list and put that list somewhere now. Oh, yeah. So that tool started with Justin because I only do it with one thing, but it can be expanded to other things as you're talking, because I have a night routine and then I have a night routine light and a version of it, but I only do it with that, that maybe I don't pick out the whole kitchen or, you know, or I pick up the garbage closet.
But there is like, like a light version of my neighbor's yard. Like one of my family went, Oh, that's all I can deal with the next day. Like, okay, this is the big plan. But if I don't sleep, then maybe this is thing that's good. Yeah, that's what I had to do yesterday. Here was what I plan to do.
And here is what I actually did. But I actually got things done. And if we make it a problem and we don't go, okay, what can I do when I'm feeling this way? And then we just don't do anything right? Because we feel so they feel I would feel so defeated. Yeah, exactly.
what I sent you previous was like, what are your biggest strengths and weaknesses that you attribute to ADHD? Well, strengths, of course, creativity is known, no doubt. And not only just pure creativity, like problem solving, creativity, the way I have solved problems in my life, I was. How did you come up with that? So that's definitely one, you know, talking about nobody.
Yeah, my life is interesting because I am a single mom since he was a baby. So all the way up to the Virgin period that I had to do a lot to understand, not knowing that I was do whatever I on myself and so on, working and doing all these things and you're not the only person who pointed out to my friends or even my doctor, like, how do you do all that is like, like a lot on one little person.
You do something about life. You feel, so how do you put it that? But I think is part of the ABC being able to, you know, thrive in that environment that is asking so much of you. I say that I'm like two things, right? You need to apply pressure for something to come out in order to produce, right?
So you can do it. Yeah. So there's no pressure I guess, with her. So I think one extreme it needs to be apply with care that I don't operate on myself, but in general this is the thing that I can take on these big things, right? Yeah. Life. And then of course, I hope I don't have to use it very often, but definitely in a state of emergency I stay super calm.
So. And to give you an example, I was a worker and she said, I need to put gas and I'm fine. I'm in the pilot's seat. And then I hear her screaming. So I get out of the car and I get out of the car, assess the situation, and I press. They stop the pump and I'm like, Just stop the pump.
It was just coming out after it was over. And she starts screaming and I'm like, Just stop the pump. That's okay. But that's me in a state of emergency having to also do me in a car accident that my car wasn't spinning, unfortunately, and I was going against the median. And I remember, well, what if I start thinking, right, What is it that I can do?
I mean, what is it like on foot to do? That's my kind of speed. And that was immediate. And I remember what I remember. Discovery Channel said that you colleague, you will experience less injury. So I did that. I just to go over the I went on the lane the guy you know what did the the airbags came out I was on Dodge but I didn't go Oh my God, no.
Yeah, I've never heard that story before. Yeah. I mean, you had a mammogram. Second, why do they have like two more? But definitely in a state of emergency, I stay hyper down, so I feel the same way. I mean, I don't know if that's an ADHD thing or not, but I do feel actually and I wasn't I read a book.
Oh, ADHD. And she explains how majority of people who are like firefighters or, you know, the rescue team, they all ADHD really because, you know, so much going on that is kind of they only get around them when they use this table because they do what they had to do. I have kind of a funny story about that.
So my husband has gone his whole life not knowing that he's allergic to ants and he was checking a haystack and an ant must have crawled up his pants and bit him and he started having kind of a reaction, but got in his truck and started driving. And then he started kind of blacking out as he was getting close to his parents house.
So he pulled over and he kind of composed himself again and could see. And so he got to his parents house. He ended up like he had like a yeti cup in his hand, and he ended up knocking it against a wall and dropping it. And so there was like all this commotion and I wasn't there, but his mom and the secretary were there.
And he ends up like on the floor at the bathroom or like right before the bathroom. And his mom, like, he's like, get me some Benadryl. And so she calls me and I think I think she called me because she knew I could do something about the situation and like she knew it was a bad situation and that I could do something.
I think she may have just been letting me know. I don't know. But what I did is I got in the car, did calm, is could be gone. And and I know he's going into anaphylactic shock from the description. Call my friend whose brother is a doctor and also deals with a child that deals with asthma. Yeah. And so I'm like, hey, this is what's happening.
Is it what I think it is? Can like, what should we do? And she explained it to me. She said it's like a tipping point, like he's going to be okay and then he will be really not okay. You got to get him to the emergency room. And so I get there with him and I remember like he's laying on the ground and he's telling me to get him Benadryl and he's telling me to Google how much Benadryl he can take.
And I'm like, Look, still completely caught. He's doing that while this. So, yes, it's highly likely that is because ADHD brains, we do that we we don't see any sense of freaking out. Yeah well yeah and I know we're both very logical people, too. And I don't know how much of that has to do with the ADHD, but that's super interesting.
But yeah, and it's something a funny thing about Paula is when she would come on to the calls, I would know how stress, stress she was just by looking at her. And it was because the days that she was stressed, she would run her hands through her hair. And so the bigger the hair, the more she was stressed.
So I would immediately go, okay, assess the situation, see what's going on. So that was funny.
So those are the biggest strengths and weaknesses. You know, is the forgetting of the things, is the ADHD that since I forget to not renew something that I meant to cancel or, you know, it's being said that because money says you forget it.
So now I don't do anything that has free drive. And I'm like, Nope, unless I'm sure that I'm going to keep it. I'm not doing any the trials because it doesn't work for me. I know when I remember to cancel, besides the fact that I don't like the prices, I don't buy anything unless I really know that I'm going to people because I'm no longer going to redundant.
I just it's not going to happen within the theory. The exact abuse is not going to happen either with donor. So they are weaknesses. But I think part of learning with you is still okay. I do have this issue what is in my power to do? What can I do? Like I do have a tile you know, I'm a gadget person.
So the tile Oh, yes. I remember your tile Yeah. And the tile And help me find my phone and be like, find the phone for my sonic and find my keys and my wallet, that chain. Because when I lose things, I lose them inside of the house, not outside of the house. Yeah. And then you remember my lamps.
My lamps have collars. So they become going through my need to go for a walk through them. So they become like, well, because they stayed rearranged, they stay, meaning until I'm back. So it's like, okay, so having go for my walk. So like, I hope you guys are taking notes with these tools, but that Paula's put together me hope it needs to be reminded that is persistent, but it can now be auditory because it would drive me crazy, right?
So it needs to be Rachel I'm persistence. Jane is to blame and it keeps on reminding me because still great. So that starts with me. I need to buy more labs. It's amazing how they explain to me how that works. Like with the lamp, like, does it stay green for certain purposes? Isn't it? Have a Bluetooth to the lightbulb.
The lightbulb is No. Two. D makes them and I forgot the other brands. Philips, and General Electric makes them. So you put them in there and then you can control them from your phone with an app and like, Oh, my light's behind me. I can do that and I can change the course of I said at 3 p.m., Go green.
And so I know that it needs green outside. I got to go outside. That's a good idea. Now I'm like, like relating it to myself and I'm like, Oh, I can change the lights behind me. We remind you of something? Yes. Because remember, time blindness is a big theme, right? I also have a theme that goes thing every hour, not only to help me see that an hour pass, but I stop and I go.
It presents or something, you know, And sometimes I feel that is 5 minutes and sometimes I say, Why hasn't gone out yet? Because it's the same. My, my brain doesn't understand that. Right? Yeah. The time awareness. For those of you on the podcast, what Paula did there is like at the hour she took a deep breath and kind of senator sorry.
Exactly,
So what has changed in your life because of coaching?
Well, the first thing is that I am more willing and inviting of ADHD, friendly things, solutions, resources. They need to be filtered through that filter off is ADHD sounding. You can be the bee's knees, but it is not ADHD friendly. Then either have to adapt it and be okay with that right being okay with okay, this is a good idea, but I need to make some modifications.
Like when you do yoga and you had to make a modification because you cannot get there safely until I can use something amazing. New planner for example. But I might need to make some changes because I know I can be aware of that. Definitely more when I'm make stress. I have another tool now because they look, how can they reframe this?
But something they have done since I can do it even on my own now that this is not getting wood. So I'm sure I'm not framing it the right way or the best way, not more positive for me. And actually symptoms, right? Acceptance of my of my changing, my planner or renting or whatever. It is a lot more comfortable, my own skill.
Right. I think I was working with Paula kind of in the early days of my business and I would explain like things in this way, like explain like your thought work or, you know, she talked about that acceptance. Like first we're just completely unaware that stage one. And then stage two is we are aware, but we're judging it.
And then stage three where, Paula, that now is we're aware, we're no longer judging it, we're just accepting it. And that doesn't mean that we don't make change. We definitely do. But just an acceptance like like we were saying earlier, like, let's just not make it a problem. And I think that and again, I probably always stop making myself wrong that anything I decline less of that.
Yeah. And I think I think some people misunderstand in they're like, but then I won't I won't make change. You absolutely do, right? Yes, absolutely. You do. Yes. And another thing that really, I think differentiate the reason why I chose you is because I don't know how because we're all ADHD. How come you really are the only person that I found that was willing to do two sessions of 3 minutes instead of these all hour because number one in HD world are we can be a long time.
It can be a long time. A love can change in seven days when you have ADHD and you're trying to do all the things. So having to push points is like super duper. And the second thing ADHD have less attention. So being one hour talking to somebody, I mean it might work for some people, but I'm saying that for me they didn't.
It was since bought and sometimes I was tired of the last 5 minutes. Why? Because you you're talking to organizing your discovering your gasping a lot of what ways right. So that that really was super powerful for me. Yeah. I just wanted to check the time to make sure because I know, I know you've got to get back to work but that I actually explain in the consult now, and I don't know if I explained it back then, but now I say I saved the one hour sessions for like verbal processors.
They really need to talk about. And then I try to get everybody on the 30 minute as much as possible. One of my clients this morning that has moved to the one hour session actually was saying I kind of liked the 30 minute because it was you know, you were touching back with me in the week. And the way I explain it is I like if you can do the 30 minute, let's do it so that you don't you're not alone with your brain for too long.
I'm saying seven days is a long time. Yeah. The key. Yes. Yeah. And if you're having, like, if you're like, maybe meant to do something or you're struggling to do something or you're having some sort of problem, you definitely, like, want to take care of it before a whole week is gone by. And yeah, people can email me and text and stuff like that, but it's really not the same as like in the meeting because they said I think they was, they said recommitment and you can love that word because we have ADHD.
So I forget. So wait, why is it even that I'm doing this Because I even forget? So we talk about it and then. Oh, okay. Okay. Got it again. So there's a recommitment to the what we're trying to achieve. And that that's. That's good. Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you for bringing that up. So what what do people need to know about you?
About me? Mm. I mean, this is all about, you know, follow me while having the HDB they mentioned. Then I've got that part. I'm a mom, I love my son, I love education. I'm a little bit of a fish out of the water because I'm not doing that for a living. And but the good thing is that I.
Okay, so that's another thing that comes with possibly the persistence, maybe not consistent being more consistent is something that I need to work on, but I am persistent for sure, and that I believe is also part of ADHD world. But what I wanted to say is that I will. I'm finding the way I'm getting closer and closer. To be able to realize that is is a big knobby.
It's a different type of transition because it's not it's not that I'm switching from, you know, being a school staff to then being into education. It's some related Now, like right now I'm transitioning from an area that has pretty much nothing to do with education. So and that's actually what we're working on here is getting better into that into the world of education that you love so much.
I don't know if we mentioned that we both have. Well, I used to be a homeschool mom and you are a homeschool mom. And this is your son's beautiful artwork behind you. And you love education like you. I one thing that you said that struck me as like I can explain math to kids in a way that they understand and I am kind of grabbing a hold of that statement that you make.
And I'm like, okay, how do we further that and make that an income? You've got it. And their reason why is because I lost that, that we struggle with math and I had to figure it out. So all of that away, that was not the way that the teachers were explaining it to me. I was like, kids too
I just talked about it in the last podcast, so I won't tell the story again. But and when I got into college, I taught myself algebra in a different way than it was being taught to me by sitting at the table and just looking at the answer key and the algebra and getting a little bit of help from my husband.
But the way it was being taught, I couldn't understand. I didn't understand it in high school. I didn't understand it in college. And I ended up getting an A-plus in that class from reteaching myself. And so, yeah, I definitely understand that. Yes. So we know that the way it explained in general doesn't work for everybody. Right? Exactly. And so I can feel that that's the direction that we're going to go in, is something about taking these gifts that you've developed and making that into a career.
So that's going to be fun. But if people want to connect with you, Paulo, where can they do that? So good question, but it's a good question. I'm not what I asked ahead of time, but that is a good question. I did. They called me. I can get my WhatsApp item. I don't mind giving my WhatsApp number. Okay.
Do you want me to put that in the show notes? Yes. Yes. Okay, We'll put that in the show notes. So look in the show notes or the YouTube, but what I have for now. Exactly. Okay, I have a website, but it has not that I have an email. So. Yes. All right, very good. Well, anything else you want to share?
And when I have my son does all this beautiful art, and I know in the podcast you cannot see his very thing even made for my company. So unlike his mama, he will go for his special, which is simply a design. So what a good example. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you, Paul. I appreciate you coming here and talking about you.
And I love these kind of episodes because the reason I do them is I want you guys listening or watching to go, Oh, this person I see myself in this person. I can accept myself now because Paula accepts herself, you know, like I want them to be able to connect with you. But yeah. All right. So again, thank you for for trusting me as your coach and and All right.
We will see you guys next week. Bye bye.
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