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I can only speak for myself and my program I use with my clients.
First, what is the problem, what are we struggling with as adults with ADHD?
We are dealing with a chaotic life often.
We feel a lot of overwhelm.
We struggle to do things that seem simple to others.
We can’t seem to keep spaces tidy regularly without a lot of effort.
We feel dread when up against hard things or large projects.
We wait until the last minute to do things because that is when we feel motivated.
We know we have more potential.
We wish we could just do what we said we would do.
How does ADHD Coaching help?
Coaching helps you put order to your mind and your life.
Coaching helps you uncover the thoughts and beliefs causing the overwhelm.
Coaching helps you develop habits so your prefrontal cortex (brain manager) isn’t needed.
Coaching helps you learn the skills of prioritization, organization & time management, so you can clean regularly and easily.
Coaching helps you to find the thoughts causing the dread and break projects down into simple steps.
Coaching helps you motivate yourself to start earlier and avoid the stress of the last minute.
Coaching helps you reach your potential.
Coaching helps you become a person that does what they say they will do.
That is what it did for me and what it does for my clients. It is not magic. It is work on your part , but if you are willing to do the work, it is life-changing.
I hear you. This was me…but I’m already so overwhelmed. Well, the time will pass no matter what. You can stay the same and life will be the same. I know for me, I always felt like my life was so much harder than everyone else’s.
So stay the same = Life is hard
Get coached & put in the hard work = Life gets easier
You can take the hard by doing nothing or put in the hard work upfront to change, grow and learn new skills that will make your life easier in the long run. Which sounds better?
Your answer right now might be to stay the same. Why? It’s completely normal to feel this way. Our brain loves nothing more than to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy.
Change is hard and uncomfortable, but so is staying the same. Your brain works against the things you really want for yourself because of its priorities: seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy.
This is so good to know! Now you can do something about it. Before we are just confused why when we want to better ourselves something inside us sabotages us. Now we know we are simply working against our brain’s priorities, and we have to in order to grow.
I’ll tell you here who ADHD Coaching is for and who it is NOT for:
Who is ADHD Coaching FOR?
You know, you're leaving potential on the table.
You know, what to do, just not how to make yourself do it.
You feel best when you are growing.
You love to learn, and you believe you can change.
You're willing to be wrong about the things you think and believe.
Who is ADHD Coaching NOT for?
You see what other people do, but you can't do that.
You believe suffering is just your lot in life.
You are a victim of your circumstances.
You can't help that your thinking makes you suffer.
On that last one, when we are unaware of what is going on in our mind we all feel like our thoughts are just happening to us. The question is, are you willing to examine how your thoughts and beliefs could be causing your suffering. Yes? ADHD Coaching is for you. No? It’s not yet.
How does ADHD Coaching work?
First, you book a free call with me HERE. I ask questions, listen and get to know your history and how you are being affected now. In that call, everyone walks away with a few tools they can apply in their lives that day.
If you want to work together further through one on one or group coaching. If you choose group coaching, we start a new course each month based on one of the ten executive function skills. We meet once a week and I teach, take questions, and coach you live. Or people that can’t attend live watch the replay and everyone applies the action items each week.
If you choose to work with me one-on-one, we get that scheduled. At that point, we will evaluate what executive function skills you are already strong in and which we need to strengthen. We discuss your goals or what you want, and we get started coaching.
At this time, my clients that work with me one on one also get access to any of the group coaching replays, so they can keep learning between sessions. They really enjoy that. I notice that the biggest thing my clients love about coaching is how proud of themselves they are that they are following through and moving forward on what they want in life.
What Are Executive Function Skills Anyway?
These are the skills those of us with ADHD can miss out on in development from childhood to adulthood. This is why so many of us feel we don’t know how to adult. I want you to know that it’s not your fault, you are not flawed, and nothing is wrong with you. You simply have not learned some of these skills that make life run smoothly, and you can still learn.
Metacognition - your thoughts about your thoughts and big picture thinking.
Organization - getting and keeping things organized.
Task Initiation - getting started.
Working Memory - the whiteboard in our brain where things are kept temporarily.
Time Management - including awareness
Impulse Control - this could be in emotions, eating, substances, and much more.
Goal-Directed Persistence - keeping at a goal once you get started.
Flexibility - able to adjust or go with the flow.
Prioritization & Planning - what is most important & making a plan.
Sustained Focus - staying focussed
The beauty is once you really learn a skill, you can take what you did to learn the first to the next one.
Why do we think we should be able to do this ourselves? Do you think a child should just be able to figure out how to read? Should a teenager just learn on their own how to drive a car? Should you just be able to figure out how to do a job without any instruction or training?
Of course not. When we think we should be able to figure these things out, we are really punishing ourselves for not knowing how already. The truth is, some of these are skills you don’t have or are very weak in.
You shouldn’t have to just figure it out. You can, but you don’t have to. Some things I struggled with and have learned through coaching:
How To Do Dishes Regularly:
Then - I would let them pile up until I was forced to deal with them so that I could cook.
Now - they go in the dishwasher or are hand washed daily.
How To Do The Laundry Without Getting Exhausted:
Then - I would wait until there were mountains of it. Then wash and dry it all in a couple of days and spend hours upon hours in front of the tv in my pajamas folding wrinkled laundry.
Now - I put in a load of laundry and walk away. Come back later that day and fold the laundry out of the dryer. That folded piece goes right into the pile in front of me for that family member. It’s delivered to their rooms and I put the wet clothes in the dryer. Same thing the next day.
How To Not Let Hyperfixation Take Me Out For Days or Weeks:
Then - I would spend days and weeks in my pajamas feeling gross and sweaty, engrossed in a project of interest. I felt out of control and always made a huge mess. I let everything else in my life go when I would do this.
Now - I just don’t go there. I do things I enjoy in small chunks. It feels so much more healthy. Looking back, it’s hard to believe I even enjoyed what I was doing.
How To Be On Time:
Then - I was late for EVERYTHING! I had guilt and shame about it, but I couldn’t figure out how to get ready in time for anything. This made my husband crazy and caused me a lot of stress.
Now - I’ve improved my routine of getting ready. I realized before I would wait until the last few minutes to start getting ready. Now I’m ready well ahead of time and I have alarms and strategies to get places on time. Before, I wasn’t even sure how long it would take to get there. Now I know.
These are just a few examples. I have the urge to say, “Please don’t laugh.”, but if you are here it’s likely because you have ADHD or are struggling with ADHD-like symptoms and I will bet you understand.
So should you be able to do this yourself?
I don’t. I can’t say if you should or shouldn’t, but I know I don’t like my clients to say, “should”. They are almost always shaming themselves with that word. Also, could. Could you do it yourself? You could, but the assumption is if you could, you should, and there we are right back at shame.
I don’t know about you, but I’m done with shame. I dealt with it most of my life from others and against myself, and I just don’t want to play the shame game anymore. I have to say that it was really hard for me to get coached at first. I had to be willing to be open and vulnerable, but I’m so glad I did.
You deserve help, my friend.
If you would like to see what coaching is like, book a free call with me, CLICK HERE.
Click here if you would like to take the quiz, Is ADHD Coaching for you?
If you would like to watch the YouTube video on this topic, here you go.